Monday, October 8, 2012

Procrastination or Laziness

Up until four years ago I had a home studio. It was a spacious spare bedroom in my apartment in the Mission district of San Francisco. It was a great space and the commute was even better since there was none. One would think that this would be an ideal situation, being able to paint whenever one felt like it. But having had the studio at home for a good 6 years I realized that I was easily distracted. There were so many other things to do in my apartment (like watching way too much television) that I hardly painted. I would make myself feel anxious and guilty for not painting daily. I would procrastinate going into my studio. It was bad. The only times that seemed to be a good time to paint was when I had a research paper or essay due. I would procrastinate getting those papers done by painting. Those were not very productive years. 

Here's a painting I started early this summer but for some reason, I kept
putting off getting it finished. I am not sure why. Perhaps because there was
just so much to do in this one. Who knows. It was probably just more
procrastination. Well, I am happy to say that I FINALLY finished it yesterday.
When I moved into a smaller apartment and was forced to get a studio space away from home, I found that I painted more. My logic was if I was going to drive all the way to the studio, I may as well stay a long time and make it count. It worked. The last three years were my most productive years of painting with me averaging 65 paintings a year. I would paint an average of five hours a day. 

Now that I am back to having a home studio, I find that the procrastination bug has bitten me again. I have a great home studio but along with the home studio comes way too many distractions of being at home, naps being the biggest distraction of all. I can already feel my production levels dropping and it's making me feel anxious. I am working part-time, getting off at 12:20 pm from my teaching job so that I can spend more time in the studio. You would think I would have a lot accomplished in the last two months, but it hasn't been the case. I can't tell if this is just procrastination or just sheer laziness. Once I am in the studio I am fine. I could paint for hours, but it's the getting there that I am having problems with. You'd think it wouldn't be so hard considering I only have to walk about 20 feet to get to my studio! Sheesh!

I'm thinking I may need to set up a strict schedule and start adhering to it, although the whole point of moving back into a home studio was so that I could paint whenever I felt like it. I am hoping it is just a phase and once I am used to the transition I will be back to my regular productive self. I don't deal well with too much change and in the past few months I have had a lot of it. Maybe I just need to get used to all of these changes. I hope so cause I have a lot of work that needs to be done and none of it has been started. 

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