Monday, July 19, 2010

Stress Has Set In...

There are 62 days until I get married and the stress is starting to hit me. I haven't really had time to think about the wedding since I have had so many art deadlines in addition to ending my teaching career. Luckily we had the venue booked and a dress bought  within two weeks of getting engaged so there wasn't much to figure out until now.  Now there's details to take care of, hotels to book, bridal showers to attend. Now I feel overwhelmed. Now I am stressed. My hair is even starting to fall out as proof of this stress.

I am used to stress. Normally I strive on stress. Big painting deadline? No problem! You want 15 paintings shipped ASAP? No problem! Write a grant proposal in less than a month? No problem! But family visits and wedding there's a problem. What is it about family that stresses people out like nothing else?

I have family flying in this week for my bridal shower, which is great, but trying to figure out where everyone is going stay is stressful. Trying to arrange dinners with other family members while they are here  is stressful. Just being around my family is stressful. Then there's the question of when will I have time to paint? How will I be a gracious hostess and still have time to get some work done? And I still have to get my grant proposal in by the 29th too. There just seems to be too much to do at the moment and I'm not sure how to juggle everything. This is where having a personal assistant would be very nice. Someone to plan things for me, who just tells me when to show up and where. Ah, maybe in my next life I will have one, but in the meantime, here I am, a balding stress-ball counting down the days until my wedding day.

In other news, I have been trying to do a sample painting for my grant proposal and it's just not working out. My new, proposed work is based on the immigrant experience and I am having a hard time getting skin tones to look right. I only work in two colors, raw umber and white, so you wouldn't think it would be too hard, but I guess I am a little hesitant to use too much color and make the skin look too dark. My people are looking too cartoony and not at all what I want it to look like. I know I just need to continue working on this painting and it will resolve itself, but between the stress I am experiencing, and the slight depression over my hair falling out, I haven't been very confident with this painting. Here it is for you perusal. Feel free to comment on it. 

This is actually a picture of my grandfather (left). He was a musician and supposedly where I get my talent from. So not only do I have the pressure of just getting the painting to look right, it's my grandfather so I REALLY want it to look right.

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