Saturday, January 5, 2013

Anxiety, Fear, and Excitement

Anxiety, fear, excitement....Those three words seem to accurately describe what I have been feeling for the past few days. I have started the first piece in my new series and there are so many questions I don't know the answers to. What is my next step on this painting? Can I pull this off? Will I like what I paint? Will my galleries like my new work?? It is a scary time for me. I am completely out of my comfort zone, a place where I haven't been in for a very long time. My artist friend, Lani, says it's like being on a trapeze naked. You're fully exposed with that feeling of falling in the pit of your stomach. Yup, that is me to a T.

Yesterday was the first day I applied paint to panel and while everything went okay, it still kept me up all night wondering what my next step on the piece will be. With my last series it was so easy. I found a photo I liked, cropped out what I didn't want to paint, and then just painted it. When the painting looked like the picture I knew it was done. In this series I am not just painting from a photograph. I don't know what the final piece will look like ahead of time. I am having to rely on my instincts to determine what I do next, when a painting is done, and this freaks me out. It freaks me out A LOT.

I am hoping once I get my "feet wet", and finish a few paintings, I will have less anxiety and this new series will evolve naturally, just as my previous one did. The only way to find out though is to keep painting. So I am off, to paint my heart out, and hopefully create something great. Oh, and by the way, it may be awhile before I post any photos of what I am working on. I want to figure things out a bit first, on my own, before I show the world. Stay tuned...

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