Pushing Through the Pain

I am a stubborn person. It's just the way I am and I am sure it frustrates my fiance to no end. It's just that when I get an idea in my head, it is really hard to get me to stray from what I think is right. So when my wrist and hand started hurting on Saturday, I did what I usually did...I worked while in pain. I know it doesn't make sense since I have tendonitis in both wrists, elbows, and shoulders and it tends to get exacerbated by excessive use, but I didn't want to stop. I wanted to get as much work done and meet my deadline. I was stubborn. Now I am in major pain.

So what do you do when you're in major pain but have a huge deadline looming? I took a day off and then got right back on the saddle again the next day, even though I was still in pain, even though people kept telling me to rest. Like I said, I'm stubborn.

Now that I have been painting for a few days while in pain, I am starting to wonder: Is it worth it? Is completing my deadline worth wrecking my body? I think the answer is pretty obvious but I'm sure that I am not the first artist who has put her health on the line just to complete a painting. So why do we do it? Why do artists continually put their health on the line by doing such things as not having adequate ventillation? Or  not wearing gloves? Or working to the point that our body starts to fall apart? Is it sheer stubborness or blind devotion to our art? I'm sure it's a little of both, at least it is for me.

I have slowly coming to the realization that if I don't take care of my physical (and mental) health, then I'm not going to be around long and I won't be creating anything if I am dead or handicapped. You would think that this would be an obvious thing to realize, but when I'm working on something that I feel so passionately about and want to get finished, it's hard to remember that. My health just isn't a priority, like it should be and that is ridiculous. Nothing is more important than my health. NOTHING. So what am I going to do now? I'm going to take it easy and rest my wrist and hand. I'm going to wear my brace religiously even though I hate doin it. I am going to do what I need to in order to take better care of my body. In short, I'm going to take care of ME. 

Images: "Beach Chair", 16" x 16", oil and encaustic wax on panel

"Reading" 12" x 12", oil and encaustic wax on panel.

"On Leave", 12" x 12", oil and encaustic wax on panel.

Two More Paintings Done

I just finished two more paintings in my quest to complete and ship 20 paintings by June 11th. One of them has already sold, so in actuality, I only have one more painting to add to the Portland show. The first one is titled "Rooftop Bather" and the second one is "Bathing Beauties 2". Both are 16" x 16" and are done in oil and encaustic wax.  

"Rooftop Bather" SOLD

"Bathing Beauties 2"

Featured Artist at Blue Gallery

Here are some gallery shots (courtesy of Kelly Kuhn) from my featured artist show at Blue Gallery in Kansas City, MO. I really wish I could have been there to see it in person since it looks like a nice gallery. The show runs until May 31st so if you are in the area, stop by to see it in person.

7 New Paintings

Here are the first seven paintings for my show at Ampersand Vintage Gallery in June. I am ahead of schedule but still need at least nine more paintings in order to have a full show. I think it's going well so far though. Please feel free to let me know what you think of these new paintings.

"Upward Stare", 12" x 12" oil and encaustic on birch panel

"Downward Stare", 12" x 12" oil and encaustic on birch panel

"Sitting Pretty", 12" x 12" oil and encaustic on birch panel

"Surfer Girl", 12" x 12" oil and encaustic on birch panel

"Two Men", 12" x 12" oil and encaustic on birch panel

"Fire Island", 24" x 24", oil and encaustic on birch panel

"Martha's Vineyard", 24" x 24", oil and encaustic on birch panel

A Lifetime of Work...

I am currently on a crazy painting schedule in which I am trying to finish 4 paintings a week for a solo show in June at Ampersand Vintage Gallery in Portland, OR. I have been super motivated and have managed to finish 8 paintings in 10 days and was recently told, jokingly, that my work should be cheaper since it doesn't take me much time to paint. While, the comment didn't offend me, it did get me thinking about what it has taken to get me to the point where I am now, a confident artist who has a clear direction in my work which enables me to execute my work "quickly", and whether or not the value of a painting should be based on the amount of hours it takes to complete one.

Now I realize that "quickly" is completely subjective and for some, that may mean completing a piece in a week while others may complete their painting in a few hours. In the past 10 days I have worked 49 hours in the studio (and this is after working my day job) and "completed" (these paintings still need to be waxed but the images are completed) 8 paintings. This averages out to a little more than 6 hours per painting. While in comparison to some artists that take weeks, sometimes months to complete a single painting, this is, on average, a regular time frame for me and actually not considered "quickly" by my standards. Does this make my paintings worth less because it didn't take weeks to create? The quality of my work is still good and the message still comes across clearly. So why is there a need to put an hourly wage on what artists do?

When I think about all of the years where I worked at my art trying to figure out who I am, what I wanted to say, and then honing my skills, I wouldn't say that it was anywhere near quick. We are talking about almost 30 years of hard work and soul-searching, which as many of us know, is not easy. Many times I would find myself in my studio staring at blank canvases, not sure of where I should start or where I was going, doubting whether or not I had what it takes to be a successful artist. It has taken me a long time to figure out that yes, I could do this. Yes, I do have the skills to do this well. Yes, I have something worth saying. Yes, people are interested in my work. So when someone comments about the quickness in my completing a painting or calls me a prolific painter, I can now say to them that it has taken me a lifetime to be able to complete this work and the hours put into this goes way beyond what the average person puts into their 9-5 job.

Images: Three more paintings waiting to be waxed and have wiring put on them in order to be completed. The first one is 24" x 24" and the last two are 12" x 12".

Guest Artist at the Carey School

Yesterday I had the priviledge of being the guest artist at the Carey School, an elementary school in San Mateo. Raymond Difley, a fellow San Francisco artist, is the art teacher there and had asked if I would like to come and speak to his students about what I did, as an artist, give a demo, and then lead an art lesson for the older students. I was used to teaching older kids since I teach middle school math but I wasn't sure how my artwork or demos would go over with elementary students and whether I would be able to relate to such young children.

My presentation started with a talk about what is encaustic wax and about my process in my latest series. I also showed my video "Forgotten Memories" that Ben Morse had made me before I wowed them with my use of a blow torch as I fused clear medium onto a painting. The kids really liked my blow torch! There was a lot of touching and feeling of the different surfaces (fused and unfused) and then I answered a lot of questions. The younger kids (pre-K, K, 1st and 2nd) had some great questions and really challenged me. It was nice to see them really appreciate my art and want to know everything about it. I was impressed with their knowledge and understanding, which I am sure had a lot to do with the great art education Raymond was giving them.

The older kids (grades 3-5) had a longer session. In addition to my lecture and demo, I then led them in a collage project where they were to pick an old photo, think about the memory it was capturing, and use that photo in a collage that would depict this idea. We covered the collages in encaustic wax and then the students did graphite transfers along with carving out drawings in the wax and wiping paint into the recessed areas. We didn't get to finish the assignment while I was there but what they did accomplish was pretty impressive, especially the last class of the day.

I'm glad to see that not all schools have completely cut out an arts program from their curriculum. So many times, art and music classes are the first things to go in a budget crisis. Without these classes we are not allowing children to explore their creative potential, and for some of these kids, this is vital. Creativity helps students do well academically also and allows them to be well-rounded students, and in this day and age, well-rounded indviduality is important. The Carey School is a private school, which is probably one of the reasons it can still have an art program (and from the looks of the the art displays around the school, it is a good one) but wouldn't it be great if EVERY chiild could learn about art? If EVERY child could explore their creative potential?

Three paintings done...many more to go!

For those of you who have just started reading my blog, I have placed myself in a bit of a predicament recently when I shipped the majority of my paintings to a gallery in Kansas City, not realizing until it was too late that it would mean I would have no paintings left for my Portland show in June. It was not a pretty situation to realize that I would have to ship 20 paintings by June 11th and I was no where near having enough work.

After freaking about for a bit, I took the advice of Amber George (who has always given me great advice) which was to figure out how many paintings I needed and divide it by the number of days I had until I shipped and that would tell me what my weekly/daily schedule would look like. I had to leave a few extra days for packing up the pieces and some "just in case something goes wrong" days in there. I figured I could get away with doing 16 paintings (i have a few pieces left that would work for the show) and that I had about 4 weeks to get them done. From this I had to paint 4 pieces a week and that gave me 2 weeks to pack and ship the work and redo any pieces I didn't like. Okay, this seemed doable. I could breathe again.

Weekend one just passed and I am happy to say that I completed the images for three paintings and I am about 60% done with a fourth! These paintings still need to be covered in wax and wired but accoprding to my schedule, I still have all week to do that and get the fourth piece done! If I can keep up this momentum, I will definitely get these paintings done in time, with some time to spare. I hope I didn't just jinx it....

Thanks to everyone who wrote encouraging words on FB! I appreciate having a cheering section!

Images: These are the three pieces that I worked on over the weekend. Throw some wax on the front and some wiring on the back and these babies are done!